Im irritable today but feeling better, if that makes sense

I dont know what to do with myself and its making me irritable. I think I am doing okay though. I went for a walk this afternoon, just my daughter and me. It was nice mommy/daughter time also. I think I am doing pretty well. I am staying positive and even trying to make it a family thing. I will be doing a Unit Study on the Food Pyramid later this school year so this is a good start on explaining things first hand. My goal right now is 20lbs. I have no time goal just 20lbs at a time and Ill be very happy. I think if I set my goals too large they will seem out of reach.

My 24 hr Intake

B-L woke up late so had brunch 2 eggs over easy, 2 mini bagels w/ about a tbsp of cream cheese, 2% chocolate milk 6oz

D-Spaghetti, meat sauce, Italian sausage (2links, I splurged), 2 garlic sticks

6 8oz glasses of H2O and 3 6oz glasses of Diet Coke

The walk did not happen today :(

Eating to live, not living to eat!

Ugh I am tired today, didnt sleep well last night. I sat up and thought about food, I didnt eat any, but thought about it. Thought about how I had allowed food to dictate my life. I find myself scouring the cabinets and frige like a small child sneaking forbidden goodies. As a child my mom would say mean things to me about my weight, I know I was the largest in my family no matter how active I was. I always checked out fine at the Drs and to this day (knock on wood) I have no health problems. I woke up and had no energy to climb out of bed, didnt feed the kids until close to 10am. I feel like a horrid mother, I know I need to do better, I tell myself to do better, but I cannot force myself to. I know I am not teaching my kids the right way to do things by being fat and lazy. Today I am going for a good long walk, at my own pace, but I am going. I need to be out in the cold fresh air.

What I ate for 24 hrs

B-2 bowls of corn chex, 2% milk

L-Banana

D-Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, butter bread (ate 1/2 of what was on my plate)

S-bowl of corn chex, 2% milk

Need to work on drinking water

I'm Fat

I have been overweight my whole life practically. i always tell people I am fat and happy, that is just not true. I never have the energy I should at 31 years old, I cannot physically chase my children around and run and play ball and everything else I so desperately want to do, because I am fat! I am at a point in my life that I really want to lose the weight. No fad diets, no shelling out cash to go to meetings, but taking charge of my life and making changes in the way I cook and the amount I eat. I am blogging about this to keep myself in check and to have my friends and family help me along my journey. I want to be held accountable for my actions and so I dont eat to compensate for anything else I will blog. Dont worry if I ramble or just have whimsical thoughts, its so I dont eat out of boredom.I am at the heaviest I have ever been.

Weigh In:266.4